Thursday, October 23, 2008

jeepers creepers dallas!

i love my new city, i really do - after spending the vast majority of the last 7 years in small cities, its wonderful to see those bright lights. i love how much there is to do, i love the fashion, i love the cooler (for Texas) weather... however, there are some moments when the "libby-hippy" in me has to stop and say... wtf???

case (well, 2 cases) in point:

dear 6 a.m. thursday morning yoga attendee:
you don't seem like a terrible person - in fact, you were quite helpful when my hair dryer blew a fuse this morning - plus, you have super cute jeans. however, must you take up every inch of space on the locker room bench? is it really necessary to lay your entire (designer) outfit out, buffet-style, leaving no room for my piddly little br garment bag? i realize your lingerie costs more than my entire shoe collection and that you have a very taxing day of mani-pedis ahead of you, but come on, scoot over sister.
and while we're at it, can we discuss your choice in gym bag? is a louie ($1720 - yes, i looked it up) duffel really ideal for your yoga purposes? i mean, i love louie - one day, i hope to have as good a friendship with him as you appear to have - but a freakin' gym bag? are you completely nutzoid, lady?

dear hummer-owner parked next to me at whole foods:
last time i checked, the "war on terror" had not moved into dallas-proper. the very sight of you driving next to me on the road sends my blood pressure through the roof, but when you are jammed in next to me whilst i grocery shop, its enough to drive me to eco-terrorism. have you heard? we're in a bit of a global crisis, re: the environment. or do you think that by buying organic squash and implementing your .99 reuseable grocery satchel that you can single-handedly counterbalance your carbon emissions?
yes, yes, i know, i drive a pathfinder, but (a) its old and purchased when i was naive and the polar ice caps weren't all soupy, and (b) it cannot be used as an armoured tank. if i ruled the world, you would be stripped of your car-privileges and forced to ride the dart bus or borrow your little nephew's bike.

xox, k

10 comments:

  1. It's so weird -- I live in Austin and I run into thesse type of things on a regular basis. I guess the difference is that in A town they all have "Free Tibet" or Obama stickers on the Hummers (no joke).

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  2. this is how i feel about hummers and huge trucks of the like.

    @#)($*&@)#*(&%)*@#&)(*$)(@#*$)(@*#$)(@*#)@)(%*@)#(*@#)(

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  3. LOL.
    Welcome to Dallas - city of LV gym bags ;)

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  4. I am cracking up at your post! You are a great writer!

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  5. Ok... i just thought to myself, is she not even going to mention the gym bag? And then. Ya did. Amuses me.

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  6. #1 Can we confirm the Louie was in fact legit? My passion is spotting fake bags, there are some very good ones out there.

    #2 I am impressed that you work such long hours AND go to the gym before work, you are my hero.

    #3 How would you have explained yourself if the lady busted you photographing her stuff? That would be interesting...

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  7. I just discovered your blog a few days ago and I'm loving it, however I'm starting from your first one and working my way up. Bueno chica, una ultima nota:
    you have been TAGGED" have fun.

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  8. hilarious! you're so funny.

    you have 2 awards on my blog today!

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  9. kelly - excellent questions:

    #1 - if you could see this lady and her clothes, makeup, hair products, etc... she is not someone who would be carrying fake louie. my 2 morning core fusion classes are actually at a a froo-froo spa near Highland Park - they offer yoga, etc and they're the only place in Texas that does Core Fusion. I can only afford it by pretending to still be a student... so about 99% of the ladies there are of the Junior League, highest tax bracket set. No fake louie up in here!

    #3 - I thought of this! I made sure she was in the shower and then I used my iphone on silent to take the picture. if she had walked in, it would have just looked like I was texting! another reason I love the iphone!

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happy little comments!