Wednesday, April 15, 2009

a kind request

dear RueLaLa,

as you know, i am quite the loyal member. i visit you daily, and in return, your boxes visit me almost weekly. i have even shushed a higher-up when he attempted to talk to me about actual work (pish-posh!) when i was attempting to pry a theory jacket out of the grubby hands of size 6s across the nation in your virtual shopping battle-, um, er, playground.

so you could say i feel you owe me a tiny something. and not just that bullshit pink thank-you card i received in my last glorious arrival. i'm talking about giving me a modicrum of dignity.

you see, when i visit you (around 10:18 CST, give or take a few minutes, depending on the reliability of your reminder texts) the rest of my office is busy billing away. that's why i find your "Access Gate" page particularly issue-ous:



how am i supposed to look like a legit lawyer when i have a massive picture of a a girl's lingerie-clad ass sticking out of a big pink box splashed across my computer screen?

oh i'm sure some very smart peeps in your marketing department came up with this little gem, and lots of money was probably spent airbrushing this poor, headless model's thighs (at least, i hope so, otherwise i hate myself), but now i have to close my door and pretend i'm on a conference call, just to sign into your damn website.

i propose an option: let your members choose between Headless Naked Gal and a tricky, clever little Faux Spreadsheet Sign-In Page. professional women everywhere would cheer your name, i promise (or, if its just me, i promise to cheer really loud)!

thanksomuch!
~ K

18 comments:

  1. hahahahaha. i actually had to read the first part of the post, scroll down past the picture, then read the second half, so that the thigh-whore was not taking up my engineering screen. i vote faux excel!

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  2. haha, i hate that stupid sign in screen.

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  3. thigh-whore! Wonder if she's any relation to the DQ variety?

    ESPN has faux Excel during March Madness. Why not RueLaLa??

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  4. also... can someone invite me? :) vlfowler at gmail

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  5. I will cheer right along with you!

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  6. invitation only! damn you Ruelala! i like the faux excel spreadsheet. start cheering!!!! i am. can you hear me?

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  7. true. true. true. i actually got called out for this in my job eval. not even kidding. soooooo embarassing.

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  8. I agree! I am constantly clicking away from that screen anytime I think I hear someone coming up the aisle. They really need to make it a faux excel spreadsheet!

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  9. Oh god, I have thought the same thing.

    Also, WTF with those naked Blue Fly commercials?

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  10. I totally agree! How am I supposed to hit the fabulous Rue La La sales whilst in my cube? I mean, people are going to start to wonder...

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  11. I totally agree. It is really embarrassing to have that on my laptop screen in class (cause obviously I'm not gonna let a stupid Torts class stop me from getting in on time). Several classmates who sit behind me have asked me why I stare at a half-naked woman in a box several times a week. At least Gilt is just some tranq-ed out models (although someone thought the Gilt people were Twilight actors! WAY more embarrassing than designer discount shopping!)

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  12. I have thought this so many times. I'm afraid my corporate internet screening software will start blocking the site, that image is so bad. On the one hand, nooooo! But on the other (practical, trying to pay for a wedding) hand, okaymaybe.

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  13. seriously, why don't more companies do the fake excel spreadsheet screen????

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  14. Um..okay...I totally agree with you. I sign on at work...and I'm not supposed to be on the Internet...let alone a page where some half naked chick is strutting her stuff! I second your spreadsheet idea.

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  15. I was a RLL member for a while, right when it posted half-priced Vera Bradley, then I mysteriously stopped getting its e-mails. I wonder if it unsubscribes you if you don't BuyLaLa.

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  16. Yes, yes - we need a faux Excel sign-in page! Gilt people, please take notice as well.

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  17. umm... I need to be a part of this!! How does a girl get a hook up?!

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  18. ha, exactly. I always have to make sure no one is around.

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happy little comments!