Monday, August 3, 2009

mixer mystique {part one}

one of our house guests this weekend made a pretty observant statement. his comment was that the telltale sign of a married woman was the presence of a Kitchenaid Mixer in the kitchen. now, i was about to go all Annie-Banks-Give-the-Little-Wife-a-Blender-Schitzo on the poor fellow when i realized... huh. the man is right.

mentally scrolling through my list of smug-married friends, from the non-traditionalists to the conservatives, i'm hardpressed to name one who is mixer-less. i freely admit that not only was i giddy to register for my cherry red mixer, but whenever i look at a couple's registry, the first thing i peek at is the bride's Kitchenaid color choice. as both a lover of all things pretty (Christian Louboutin is to shoes as Kitchenaid Mixer is to culinary electrics) and a gal who devoured Naomi Wolf at age 13 (the lure of the Kitchenaid Mixer is society's attempt to teleport us back to Stepford), i find myself fascinated at the prevelance of this appliance in my peers' homes.

i mean, how often do we mix things?

well, let me rephrase as i'm sure many of you actually do in fact mix things... how often do i mix things? answer: in the 4 mo. that my Kitchenaid has been on display, i've mixed zero things.

none. nada. nil. zilch.

yet when it came time to scan in a coffeemaker to the ol' registry - you know, for coffee, which i drink every freakin' day - i decided against it because my crusty, ancient Mr. Coffee works just fine and we have a great coffeemaker at work and i didn't want our guests to buy us something we really didn't need.

that's me, Queen of Prudence and Practicality!

$60 appliance for something i make everyday? nah! i wouldn't want to be greedy!

$350 appliance with which i will do nothing but lovingly pet as i pass it on my way to my shitty Mr. Coffee with the broken display? yes, please! {makes grabby hands and emits high-pitched squeals of delight}

but i am making a vow, a resolution of sorts! i will mix shit! this week! shit will be mixed - in my $350 cherry red mixer - this week! and i will do it whilst contemplating the Beauty Myth and wearing heels!

stay tuned for a recap of Big Red's Virgin Voyage. and until then, check Etsy's stand mixer obsessions!





37 comments:

  1. I'm not married, but I do bake a lot...and I'm recently engaged so I guess that means maybe I do have one foot in the category. I named my stand mixer after Alton Brown. ;)

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  2. I totally agree with you. Though I'm not married, I know that when that wonderful day comes, I will too be entered into Kitchenaide heaven and have a mixer of my own :)

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  3. HA! Awesome, adorable, and an Annie Banks shout out. Loves it.

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  4. The red mixer was the very first thing I registered for, and we got it at our very first shower! We haven't used it yet (though my excuse is that we're not married yet), though we did take it out of the box this past weekend for a super fun photo shoot involving kitchen appliances, fresh produce, and blueberry cake.

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  5. Not married yet but would love a pretty turquoise one to sit on my counter one day. I'm sure I would never use it though and also can't help but think that thing must be a bitch to clean... When you use yours, please keep us posted on the ease/trauma involved in the clean-up process.

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  6. I have those winifred studio cards! I do a post about them a long long time ago. Love them!

    And I've used my mixer once in a year but my mom uses it every time she visits. Mine is in a cabinet and it's too damn heavy to get out. I have stainless steel. Is that boring?

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  7. Mine is red too! I've always used the excuse that I didn't have one as the reason why I don't bake. Now that I have it, the reason why I don't bake is because I have a gas oven ( aka just don't like baking).

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  8. Fun post :-). As you know, I also have the red Kitchenaid, but I've actually had it almost three years. My mom and sis (both big bakers) convinced me I NEEDED it one year, even though I wasn't sure I did. I finally gave in, and they gave it to me for Christmas. And how right I was... I've only used it TWICE. I swear you need a sweet tooth to justify the thing. But hey, a gift's a gift!

    I would've much rather gotten a food processor, though, which I'd use the hell out of, and still don't own. It's going to be our "buy off our own damn registry" gift before the WS discount runs out, I think.

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  9. Sigh...no mixer and I LOVE to bake. Le Creuset - check. Waterford china, full set - check. But still no mixer. I don’t know how this happened. When I finally get one I am going for green apple to match my lemongrass Le Creuset. Love the Annie Banks, blender reference…HA! Love that movie!!

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  10. So funny! I actually got my kitchenaid as a housewarming present from my parents quite recently.

    And if you are looking for recipes to try out for Big Red's maiden voyage, may I suggest:
    http://www.thefreshloaf.com/recipes/pizza

    http://orangette.blogspot.com/2008/07/bold-statement.html

    These are the two that keep my mixer (stainless steel and sooo pretty) busy :-)

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  11. I agree about the observation, but I will say that I mix things as often as possible, even when it's probably okay to use a spoon. Why risk Tennis elbow (or mixers elbow)? It's like a dish washer, why bother rinsing a dish when I have a machine that does it for me. If I could, I'd probably use that thing to mix the splenda into my coffee.

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  12. Love mine! I went with the boring white though.

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  13. Thank you thank you thank you for the much needed laugh! I've had mine 3 months and haven't used it yet. People always comment on how much they love theirs when they visit and see mine. I just smile and nod. Most expensive counter decoration ever.

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  14. I am getting married in September and my Mother told me that I "just have to get one of these", well I have a hand held mixer that I've used about 4 times in 10 years so I'd rather get something else, I don't imagine that once I am married I will become a big cook and/or baker! I'd rather upgrade my Keurig coffee maker!

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  15. I've used mine about 4 times. Unfortch, it was an off registry gift from a relative, so I didn't pick the color.

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  16. I'm really not a big baker/mixer kind of person and *gasp* really didn't think I needed one at all...but my mom purchased me one *double gasp* in black/stainless and now I'm glad I have it. But it just doesn't get used that much. From the comments above me, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

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  17. While engaged, my KitchenAid was the number one item I wanted off of my registry. Luckily, I like to bake, so I use it quite often. It's also handy for mashing potatoes!

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  18. When I get married, my KitchenAid mixer of choice will most probably be the beautiful light pink one that I goggle at every time I am at a kitchen store. Although mine will probably be on one of those awesome kitchen appliance lifts that stores away in the cabinet - I love those suckers.

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  19. And will you be wearing Christian Louboutins to mix things in? JUST Christian Louboutins? ;)

    Yeah, my KitchenAid sits on the counter as well, ready and willing to mix. Practically speaking, there is no better place for said mixer than on the counter. They are proud little f*ckers. They want attention.

    ~carpeviam

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  20. The mixer is addictive...once you start using it, you will never go back to a hand mixer! We also found out a little tip when ours broke: if it's from Williams Sonoma, they'll replace it with no hassle if and when the motor burns out.

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  21. Mixers aren't only for married ladies! Um... Obvi I bake a lot, so it goes without saying that I have one. I bought it right after I graduated college along with a le cruset Dutch oven and a 10 place setting set of el cheapo plain white dishes (as seen in all my food posts). I will admit I felt sad that I was buying one for myself, but I was also proud. Who needs to wait around for a man to score a good gadget? The full size cuisinart food processor on the other hand I AM willing to wait on. (gives steve virtual elbow nudge)

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  22. I have been itching to get one of these beauties. Deciding on the color will be the hardest decision!

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  23. I have actually used mine several times! I bake a lot, therefore my clothes are now a little snug, but it's all fun right! I got the new Cuisinart stainless that had just came out. I'm not gonna lie, I kind of want to get the kitchen aid in a fun color just as a counter accessory!

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  24. i've been married two years...and I DO NOT own a mixer. If I "mix" anythng it's in a blender and involves tequila! Ha! Great post...love your blog!

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  25. love it! I picked red too... but have actually mixed stuff maybe 3 or 4 times in our year of marriage. We buy other stuff to look pretty in our homes, why not a mixer ;)

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  26. I have a red one also - it's a HUGE bowl lift model. 475 watts, baby! I use that sucker whenever I can. I was very excited the day I realized I could mix meatballs/meatloaf in there and not have to gunk up my hands. Genius!

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  27. I just came across your blog a few weeks ago and I have to tell you that I am a tad bit obsessed!! It's like the words you're typing are being plucked directly from my head - I only got married about a month ago, but our Kitchenaid mixer (in Buttercup, natch) was one of our first shower gifts and I have not yet actually mixed anything. I have been feeling the pangs of non-mixing guilt, but you have since reinspired the dormant baking goddess within me. Whatever you mix my new invisible bud, I will mix. Godspeed.

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  28. Ha that is so true! But you know what- I LOVE my stand mixer. And even if I cannot exact use it right now since Im on a strict WW diet I love to look at it! lol

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  29. I think my husband was just excited as me when we got our Kitchen Aid. I do use mine...not very often, but when I do, I love it. ;-)

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  30. OMG lady... I had this *exact* domestic quandry in my head on Sunday! So much so, in fact, that I not only defiled the Kitchen Aid, but also a set of ramekins and the bread machine (???). My "I mix shit" recipe of choice was the oatmeal cookie recipe inside the Quaker Oats tub lid (substituting craisins and almond slivers with raisins.)
    The Mr. gave such an impressed and excited reaction, you would have thought a Dita von Teese-style burlesque show was included in the baking process. (Hmmm... maybe Dita can substitute the martini glass in her next act with a KitchenAid mixer?) He even took some of the cookies to work the next day and shared with coworkers, to brag on me a bit.
    Can't wait to hear how your first visit to Stepford goes!
    xoxo,
    L

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  31. omg woman how can you not have used it? I use mine probably twice a week! I also just bought an additional mixing bowl for it!

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  32. Girl, I loves me my red KichenAid!! That dude has mixed some shit. Once you get to mixin' you won't want to stop.

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  33. this is hilarious! i'm always trying to explain to husband why the kitchen aid mixer is a necessity!

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  34. This post cracks me up - I am really nervous about registering because I can't figure out what color I like the most! I actually just wrote about this problem myself and referenced this post. Fortunately my fiance recognizes the importance since I refuse to bake homemade cookies without one. Which means no homemade cookies right now, maybe that's why we're now engaged...hmm.

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  35. as i'm typing this, i'm glancing over at my pretty yellow Kitchen-Aid mixer sitting there untouched for...wait for it...8+ months of wedded bliss.

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happy little comments!