Wednesday, March 31, 2010

goodies, yeah my goodies

There is a lot to be discovered by traveling with someone.  For example, some husbands um, men, um... people take their civil liberites and/or general courtesy very, very seriously, thus transforming them into ticking timebombs the minute the security line forms... causing phrases such as "hows about a smile and a 'please' while you're arbitrarily trampling on my Fourth Amendment rights there, buddy?" to escape their lips without warning.

{Never being one to let a silly things like "insisting on being treated with respect" or "standing up for my most base beliefs" lie between me and a cheap glass of Air Plane Merlot, you can bet that I choose a different security line than, um, people.  I know, I know... traitor... but at least I'm on my way to Vacation Destination, USA and not sitting shackled with the rest of the No Fly List over in Quarantine.}

Some people also get grumpy when they are hungry.  And since Longchamp has yet to design a tote that magically shrinks your personal fridge / pantry to travel-size, traveling with these people means toting a cache of rations - implemented to ward off the inevitable mid-afternoon slump (a true sight-seeing spoiler if there ever was one)... 


What?  You didn't realize I had a three year old?  No, dear readers, I have a man.  A man with a freakishly high metabolism who couldn't ruin his girlish figure if he made it his New Year's Resolution.  A man who needs a Pop Tart... RIGHT.  FREAKIN'.  NOW!  



I'm tellin' you kiddos, I am a Modern Day Mary Poppins, with my trusty marigold Longchamp (best travel tote ever, btw) moonlighting as the magical, mystical tapestry bag.    That's right... I'm not just a Feeder of Adorable Baby Elefantitas, but also a Feeder of Man... and a Feeder of Others Having the Privilege to Raft Down Dirty Rivers on Bamboo Rafts With Us.  



Oh.  And by the time this posts, we'll have been in Oregon for 6 or so hours... communing with nature and squirrels and molting eagles and Pinot Noir.  And these tasty treats? 


Will be halfway gone.

25 comments:

  1. Unforunately, I do possess a freakishly fast metabolism, but am HANGRY! all the time. My purse is therefore filled with snacks at all times.

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  2. haha, i love it. I don't have a high metabolism, but I do get low blood sugar, hence I'm the one in need for snacks. Have fun in Oregon!

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  3. My dad requires snacks on flights and I remember one fateful flight to Italy in which he required that I carry 2 bananas onto the flight (in case he got hungry and he doesn't have a carry on)...so my bag stunk like bananas and were brown by the time we were on the flight. And then they served bananas on the flight for breakfast. I guess that's the least I could do since he paid for said trip:)

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  4. You already got Mommy half way down pat. Love Samma's Hangry comment above. Have fun!

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  5. Hope you're having a fabulous time!
    My hubby keeps my travel totes full of stuff- his books, his food, his this, his that. I'm so glad to know there are other men out there who do the same.
    I was afraid I was the only one lugging around piles of my hubby's stuff (and God help me if I forget anything).

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  6. This is hilarious! My husband is exactly the same and there are always snacks in my purse. It is kinda like traveling with a three year old isn't it, anyway, welcome to Oregon. The rain has even ceased for your arrival hopefully it will stay that way. It's been pouring like mad and horribly windy the past few days. I recommend boots and warm socks. Riding boots are the single best shoe investment in this climate--happy travels!

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  7. Dang those men with their freakishly fast metabolisms, right? You are a good little wifey to tote around all of Ev's snacks. I know you have no choice, it's for your sanity too! There is nothing worse than a grumpy hungry man :) Hope you're having a blast!!

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  8. man i get cranky when i get hungry...if only it was a sign of a freekishly high metabolism.

    have fun on your trip!

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  9. Oh I hope you're having a blast in Oregon right now. I am so so jealous!!!

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  10. Hahaha! I also am married to someone with a freakishly high metabolism- he weighs 5 lbs less than he did in highschool (15 years ago). I gain weight just from looking at a candybar, and he eats a good 5, 10 a day (dunked in cheese sauce and topped with avocados and pepperoni ) and WEIGHS FIVE POUNDS LESS THAN HE DID IN HIGH SCHOOL.

    It's a sick joke, really. Sick, sick, sick.

    Have fun on your trip, you little snack-toter you!

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  11. Good to know I'm not the only one who married a three-year-old who blows through snacks because of his freakishly high metabolism and never gains an ounce.

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  12. I feel your pain. I have to take snacks for my husband if we're going to be in the car for 25 minutes driving TO dinner. He would have a meltdown, cancel our reservations, and have the car turned around in 5 minutes if I didn't grab string cheese before we leave the house.

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  13. I have to say, I am as bad as your husband, and I require many snacks while traveling...or doing anything really ;) Those Nature Valley Granola Bars are excellent for traveling - easy to carry and awesome because there are TWO in each package. Two for me!

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  14. Hilarious!! Ya do whatcha gotta do to keep the Evs happy. Have a great time in Oregon and have a glass of vino for me!

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  15. Have a great time in Oregon!!!

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  16. You're never too old for Pop Tarts or Goldfish!!

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  17. Ha ha, this is awesome! Welcome to the best state!

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  18. My God, woman, you're a genius.

    Yours transforms into a 3 year old, mine transforms into a MUCH meaner version of the old man from UP.

    You've given me the epiphany that perhaps an emergency stash of candy (butterscotch, maybe, like all old people love?) just my be the measure I need to avoid just such an italics-worthy public comment that make me shake my head back and forth.

    All hail Kate, Wrangler of Husbands!

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  19. Too funny, my husband is exactly the same way. I may need to invest in one of those totes!!

    cozystyle.blogspot.com

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  20. It sounds like traveling with my husband!! Except instead of food he requires entertainment. For a trip we can leave the house with no less than 1 magazine, 1 portable DVD player, 2 movies for player, 1 ipod, 1 old school game boy, and a deck of cards. I travel with a toddler, or husband. The only thing missing is a coloring book and crayons.

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  21. This is so the story of our vacays. But we have Twizzlers!

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happy little comments!