I've been intrigued by these types of frocks every since Two Birds introduced them as a modern alternative to bridesmaid gowns around the time I was in full-on wedding planning mode. I loved the idea of my friends all unified in color but styled differently. And, while I am a huge proponent of the brutal truth that NO BRIDESMAID EVER DONS HER WEDDING DUDS AGAIN, can you really get any more wearable than an 8-ways-in-1 dress fashioned of flattering jersey knit?
Unfortunately, the raspberry color of my bridal-party-inspiration-board-dreams wasn't one of the color options available, so we took a more traditional route. I loved our bridesmaids' dresses, but I was more than a little bummed that I didn't get the chance to hop on the Infinity Dress Train (because you better believe I would have ordered myself one of those puppies!).
So, you can imagine my elation when Tart Collections popped up on a Gilt Sale! Double Pleased-As-Punch-Points for all the credits sitting pretty in my account that magically morphed the price tag to Zero! While I was slightly perturbed by the "delayed shipping" notation that appeared in "my cart," I quickly snapped up the mid-length style in a bright plum color.... And waited. Very patiently. Like a five year old for Santa. Like a farmer for rain. Like a Kate for a pretty dress.
And today... IT ARRIVED! In all it's glory! The fabric delights me to no end, and I am ready to fully exhaust my styling options... except.... EXCEPT!
(a) Might I suggest another name for the dress? Dear Marketers: "Eight Ways" does not equal "Infinite Ways." Infinity is way higher than Eight. All you people need a math refresher. But anyhoo, enough about semantics, I'm still ready to fully exhaust my (EIGHT) fashion options... except... EXCEPT:
(b) There are no instructions. I was expecting a manual. Any item of clothing that does THIS requires step-by-step instructions:
And I didn't even get a shitty stick-figure diagram captioned in Swedish (coughIKEAcoughcough).
So off to Google I fled... only to discover message board threads chock-full of other befuddled Infinity (EIGHT) Dress Purchasers. I imagine us all, in various stages of undress, frantically clutching scads of jersey, shaking our fists at the heavens and crying out WHY TART, WHY?!!
Or maybe that's just me.
Does anyone have any idea how to wrap this freakin' dress? If it helps, I only desire knowledge of 7 of the Infinite (EIGHT) looks. Specifically, I can do without THIS one, lest I attract more "floppy boobs" commentary: