Tuesday, July 27, 2010

fail-o italian-o

{Aside: Worst Blog Title Ever.}

This afternoon, I began the highly frustrating task of Selecting Potential Painting Contractors in a City Where I Know No One Who Has Used a Paint Contractor Save For My Colleague Whose Guy Was Alright Except For That Whole Meth Addiction Thing.**

**Obviously this is the footnote where I implore anyone in the DFW area with the contact information of a reliable, economical, non-meth-addicted paint contractor to shoot me an email and make all my Wedgewood Gray-tinted dreams come true!  

Aiding me in my epic quest was this website - an online comparison and referral site for home improvement projects - which may or may not turn out to be a total scam (time will tell, as Jan always says).  Anyhoo, I was trucking along through the stats of the highest-rated painters when I spied an interesting sector of the standard profile, entitled Things You May Not Know About Me.

Hmmmmm... perhaps this is like the Match.com of residential construction hotshots?  Maybe I can find someone to expertly de-wallpaper my half-bath who additionally shares my passion for vinho verde, goat cheese, and smutty vampire television programming!  With visions of simultaneous trim touch-ups and Glee soundtrack duets shared between me and my new Gay Paint Contractor Boyfriend dancing in my head, my eyes skipped hopefully down the page of a seemingly promising prospect only to see...

THIS.


Favorite Local Restaurant?


OLIVE GARDEN.  


My soul died a little inside.  


{And before all the Olive Garden Lovers get all up in arms, I will acknowledge there is a time and place for Endless Salad and Breadsticks.  And that time and place is called
Senior Year When JAJ & I Felt Depressed and Needed Someplace Where We Wouldn't Be Judged For Ordering Enough Carbs & Cheap Wine in the Middle of the Afternoon to Kill a Small Hippo.}

I don't care if this dude is Monet of Residential Interiors... he isn't getting anywhere near my wainscoting with his "Hospitaliano!" Hands. 

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Huge Thanks for all your lovely comments on my last post!  Y'all are super-super-psyched about paint chips which makes me feel all pink-puffy-hearted.  

25 comments:

  1. I just spent an inordinate amount of time in a home improvement store, in the paint section, trying to find a colour in which to paint my new apartment.
    The previous owners left the place in such a LOVELY scuffed state and I canNOT wait to see paint rollers doing their thing.
    Anyway... one of the final contenders? Wedgewood Gray.

    I almost spit out my wine as I read this post!

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  2. Have you used Angie's List? I've heard GREAT things about that. It's a paid service, but well worth it.

    Also, "Hospitaliano Hands"?! Bahahahaha!

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  3. i second angie's list! our realtor recommended it (hello, fixer upper!). although i'm disappointed i didn't learn any fun facts about the guys who just refinished our floors.

    beautiful house! you guys must be so excited!

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  4. we have a bathroom in wedgewood gray - love it!!!!

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  5. The wedgewood gray will be great! We just painted our room a darker shade of gray called "silver wings", it ended up being closer to baby blue, which obviously required a re-paint. I can't remember the new color's name but even then it's a little too blue for me. If I wanted to paint for the third time I'd go little lighter and I think wedgewood gray would be perfect! Congrats again!

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  6. LOVE the Wedgewood gray! So excited to hear all about the new house decorating vertures!!

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  7. i love me some breadsticks and house prosecco, but olive garden is not a local restaurant. end of story. ummm and i am super excited to look at paint colors.

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  8. I'm more amused by the leftovers from the obvious fill-in-the-blank bio: "I love working in the Dallas Metroplex because Reason You Enjoy Working There."

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  9. That makes me sad too. Especially since I'm in the tourism industry and folks always try to name chain restaurants as 'local' places. So frustrating.
    Also frustrating is the fact that he spelled 'Key West, FL' as one word. For CRYING OUT LOUD!

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  10. I would go with Angie's List. I believe you have to pay a fee to join the site but I am sure it would be worth it.
    Every time I think of Olive Garden, I think of the time I went with my husband (we were just dating then) to New Orleans for a flag football tournament and a bunch of us were going out to eat and another girlfriend wanted to go to Olive Garden. I was disgusted by this... we were in New Orleans where the food is divine and she wanted to go to OG, uhh, no! We ended off splitting up from the group and went some where else where my husband proclaimed "this is one of the best meals I have ever had." Seriously, Olive Garden in New Orleans?! Couldn't agree with you more! Not a local restaurant!

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  11. Olive Garden is not my cup o' tea. If I wanted chain restaurant, cheap but decent Italian food, I would so much rather go to either Brio or Maggianos.

    And the commercials at OG? Nail through my eye!

    Also, we have RH silver blue/gray in our rooms and I LOVE it. You could always look at a sample and paint it on the wall next to the Whisper Gray.

    xoxo

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  12. I'm normally as much of a judger as you are, and I want to be clear that I am excited to live my I-bought-my-house-four-years-ago-and-am-out-of-things-to-decorate-so-please-do-some-fun-things-with-wainscoting-and-neutral-paints dreams vicariously through you, but I feel obligated to point out that I think that the road to finding a manual laborer who is as culturally refined as you're looking for is going to be a long and sorrowful one. I know that Olive Garden isn't a local restaurant. But think how much your walls are going to cost if you have to support a painter with a taste for filet and a fine single malt.

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  13. For the love! Olive Garden as a favorite local restaurant. And he has "family/kids"! I hope he's not passing on his sophisticated palate and lack of basic reading comprehension to his progeny. hahaha

    Good luck finding a painter!

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  14. Well, ya know, I love me some OG, but, yeah, notsomuch a "local" place. Unless he was reading that as "proximity to my living quarters" in which case, eh, it's possible. But still!!

    We took on the horrible task of de-wallpapering and painting ourselves. Which was stupid for several reasons. 1) Our house was where wallpaper went to die (to this day, I look at the 'before' photos and wonder what on earth we were thinking! But I do love our house!) and 2) Dude, we suck at painting. Like, we are not talented. At all. I wish we would have hired someone! If we ever repaint, we are hiring someone. Gr.

    Alas, that wasn't very helpful in that you are looking for paint contractors.... hmmm... I shall ask around.

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  15. I've used service magic and the people they send out are good, but typically more expensive. The other thing about them is you will continue to get hone calls and emails until the day you die. "Do you have any other projects coming up that you need help with? No? Are you sure? Really? I think I hear your toilet running, we can send some out to fix it for you!"

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  16. Hey there! I recently painted my bedroom Wedgewood Gray and LOOOOOVVVEEE it! A coordinating green that I used in my guest room is Saybrook Sage (also by Benjamin Moore) and might even say that I love it almost more than Wedgewood Gray. It's a fantasticly great neutral green if you're in the market for one. Good luck and have fun!

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  17. Haha! I am cracking up at my desk right now...which is probably alarming my co-workers. :) OLIVE GARDEN! I love Olive Garden as much as the next person for a economical dinner out, but that is hardly a local restaurant. Too funny! I can't wait to hear more about your house decorating adventures! It is a beautiful home!

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  18. "I enjoy working in Dallas Metroplex Area because Reason You Enjoy Working There."

    Classic and also #574 why you have someone PROOF your business website before it goes live.

    I have the contact info for a very artsy painter in Dallas. She does amazing "specialty" painting like metallic finishes, etc. It sounds like you're looking for someone for the whole house, but let me know if you have a need for a decorator type painter. She's amazing.

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  19. The Olive Garden comment is of course the most egregious (almost as bad as the fact that my ITALIAN MIL loves the OG-- what the hell, lady?), but let's also talk about the "Do you like what you do?" Uh, if this guy says anything but "yes," what are we to think? Isn't there a saying about keeping your mouth shut and having people suspect you're an idiot versus opening it and proving that you are?

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  20. Ahhhh, Olive Garden is the worst!!! I hate when people talk about how much they love that place, I'll never understand it!

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  21. you know what is another olive garden fail? being taken their for a pre-prom dinner. you know who that happened to? thats right, this girl. nothing like made up americanized italian words and prom hair.

    on a more relevent side note: the last place i worked (design firm) partnered with service magic for about 6 months. we weren't impressed with the leads we got AND had to pay for them to boot. i'd try anggies list!

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  22. LOL a local restaurant! Riiighhhttt.:)
    Late last year, my hubs and I painted our bathroom and closet gray... and I LOVE it!!! Have fun. I'm painting the downstairs of our house now- and boy is it work. Find that contractor! :)

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  23. OMG! Olive Garden!! Really?! Favorite? Sooo funny! I made fun of the Olive Garden not too long ago and surprisingly offended a bunch of my friends. It goes hand in hand with the Red Lobster.

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  24. Hahahaha, oh man...I'm hurt, I feel like Olive Garden cheated on me. It's NOT NJ local?

    Good luck finding a painter! I would suggest the guy who painted my parents living room and upstairs hallway when I was in high school. BUT he's in NJ and he was an alcoholic who held his family hostage (my mom found this out AFTER he was too drunk to collect his money because he was going through a divorce AND totally used two different types of paint on one wall). Maybe it's the paint fumes that make these guys crazy?

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happy little comments!