Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I Like to Move It, Move It*

*Since I seem keen on mentioning high school dance team at least once a week, I'll just pause for a moment to pay tribute to that enduring "jock jam," courtesy of Reel 2 Real, that pumped its way into my heart as the 1997 Audition Kick Routine.  Good times.  

So we're moving soonish.  I'd like to portray the very picture of productivity, but, well.... hmmm, let's assess:

Very Important Things I've Accomplished in Preparation for Moving:

- Opened myself up to / capitalized on Signs from Jesus

- Picked paint colors... that may or may not even be viable with the contractors we've selected

- Purchased duct tape in "flaming flamingo" (no, seriously, that is a real color description)

- Packed a shitton (technical term) of books in 2 of the boxes bequeathed to me by Jesus

- Sealed said boxes with aforementioned flaming flamingo duct tape

- Grew weary and ate some herbed goat cheese for sustenance

- Furrowed my brow in worry over the possibility of the three-dimensional Sun Faces sprouting bodies and workable appendages, disengaging themselves from the facade of the breakfast bar, and murdering us all in our sleep with icepicks... I can see it now - Poltergeist XIV: Revenge of the Tiling Contractor.
Seriously... Who woke up one day and said to themselves... 
"You know what says 'Wakey, Wakey, Eggs & Bac-y!' to me? 
POP-OUT CELESTIAL VISAGES!"  
It's like we're living inside Pancho Villa's Tex-Mex Palace, for chrissake.
Nice try with the bar chairs there, champ.  You ain't foolin' nobody.  

And, um, that's it?  

It's a start?  Perhaps?  

Whatever. It's too hot to pack.  I'll wait until that cool front comes along tomorrow. {High of just 90 degrees, people!}  Until then, I'm googling "Flipping Out + Good Voodoo + Possessed Mosaic Tile"... surely Jeff Lewis has some sort of sledgehammer lavender burning, feng shui solution for the, um, SITUATION in my new kitchen!  

12 comments:

  1. Um, your new kitchen is GORGEOUS!! The scary sun faces... not so much. What possessed the previous owners to put those in?! All I know is, that would be my first "get the hell out" priority. Maybe even surpasses wallpaper. And that's saying something!

    But truthfully, your new abode looks amazing--what's a few sun faces to the bountiful new space and fabulous new colors your walls will be? You must be so excited! You're right though: it is too hot to pack.

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  2. minus the tres scary tiling work, your new kitchen is faboo!

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  3. Ha! I am still unpacking! And do to all the little changes I am making (none so egregious as the tile faces) I feel like I will never be unpacked. I just need to get my curtains hung, and rugs down at this point to feel better. (ha! That is such a lie- I also need my powder room wallpaper, slipcovers for den couch, paint my china hutch, and granite countertops). I need to go lie down.

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  4. I was just praying to the gods of Jeff Lewis myself. Some home crimes are just too horrific.

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  5. Gorgeous kitchen--save for the satanic sun faces--that's kind of a killjoy. But! The rest of it? Stunning! Well, I'm sure that can be fixed--praying for the gods of Jeff Lewis, obviously.

    Also? Love the duct tape. And moving/packing sucks ass. This is why I will not move. I'll be one of those 95 years olf ladies who's been in the same house for 70 years. For.real.

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  6. Umm, I am running, not walking, to the store to pick up some of that hot pink duct tape. And I love your new kitchen minus the bizarre sun faces!

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  7. I would buy some chisels and hammers first to go after that tile. The kitchen is beautiful though! Good luck with the move and removing the evil faces.

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  8. Ummm, I hate admitting this, but I kinda like the sun face mosaic! I know, Im strange. I just like the color patterns!!

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  9. So if you sit at the bar you have a scary face in your crotch? I guess there's no accounting for some people's taste/sense of humor! Other than that though, your new kitchen is gorgeous!

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  10. could you slap some of that faux bead board over them?

    also- my entire kitchen could fit on your island! but i have no scary sun faces, so we're even. (not)

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  11. Your kitchen is gorgeous! I totally think you could tackle the sun demons on your own. You could always put up a temporary fix of something like bead board to make sure they don't jump off the wall in the middle of the night. I know bead board doesn't exactly go with this kitchen, but something along those lines. (Haha...I just read the olive our house comment...)

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  12. Oh dear, I feel your pain, I have 11 different kinds of Tuscan-themed wallpaper. It's difficult to stand in certain rooms due to all the vertigo. Hurray for creative-expression via home design! Kitchen = AMAZEBALLS.

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happy little comments!