Tuesday, October 11, 2011

confessions

(1) I haven't filed my mail at work in over 3 weeks.  Important stuff has been filtered out of my gigantic "to file" pile, but there are probably 80+ other pieces just waiting for a paper avalanche.  The federal government loves them some triplicate notices, y'all. 

(2) Anna Kendrick's car in 50/50?  Is my car. It's embarrassing.  And quite unKatelike.  I like to tell myself that generally organized people need at least one space in which to be messy.  This helps me sleep at night, even though there is a dirty Camry stuffed to the brim with tattered to-do lists, receipts, and empty Starbucks cups, sitting like a ticking time bomb of waste in my garage. 

(3) When I feel the wee bebe kick or move, I do not get starry-eyed or shmoopy with motherly affection.  I usually think to myself oh! excellent! you're still there! I'm so glad! and then get promptly weirded out by the whole "Human Growing Inside Another Human" thing.  I mean... gestation... a total miracle, yes... but a slightly creeptastic one, all the same.  

(4) I double-space after a period.  I don't care if MLA changed their standards.  It just looks cleaner, and besides, I'm a rebel like that. 

(5) Without delving into some sort of vaccination debate, I wish all adults in the workforce were required to get a flu shot. I have this same thought every year, bee-tee-dubs... so this is not a "omg I'm knocked up and am consequently developing germaphobia" issue.  I just think it's the courteous and smart thing to do.  And no, "I'm afraid of needles" is not a good excuse.  What do you want?  A Strawberry Shortcake Bandaid?  I'll give you a sucker if you're brave, for pete's sake.   

(6) If Bliss had a membership that merely allowed one to take a shower in their locker room on a daily basis, I would buy that sucker in a heartbeat.  

(7) Silently trolling baby name chat boards is my secret shame. 

(8) Relatedly: I am a Grade-A Name Judger.  You are not naming a goldfish, people.  This is a human being that will one day apply to college and seek employment and desire adult conversation over an alcoholic beverage that is not a Buttery Nipple.  Do you think Kaeyleelynn Krystal enjoys a nice glass of Pinot and a crabcake during business networking events?  No. She's across the street... at Chicas Bonitas... ON THE POLE.  

(9) Relatedly x 2: We're not being sneaky... Quesita just doesn't have a name yet.  But I can tell you that Kaeyleelynn is not on the table. We have either 2 or 3 possibilities, depending on the time of day... E being Team A, me being Team B, and us both being Team C except we can't decide if we're hip enough to be Team C so sometimes Team C ceases to be an option.  If that makes any sense at all. 

(10) That last one was not a confession.  And so I shall end things before we get completely derailed by the mush in my brain.   


Anything you'd like to get off your chest? 

43 comments:

  1. confession: i keep telling people that growing a human within me makes me feel more like an ANIMAL than i ever have before. pretty much all mammals incubate their young, therefore i am feeling very.. carnal? earthy? primitive? like a primate. yes, its a miracle and special and amazing... but still quite primitive!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I saw 50/50 last night, and when they got in AK's car, my friend nudged me so hard I almost fell out of my seat. Messy car people, unite! (Although now that I drive a minivan -SIGH- it's taken on a whole new level of messy.)

    And I just died laughing, but you are SO RIGHT about baby names. I conceded on my older daughter's name (Savanah), but got my way with my second (Stella). Both have family ties and aren't so common they'll have to resort to writing their name plus part of their last name in elementary school like I did. (There were FIVE Sarah C's. Hello, 1985 babies.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I chuckled at many parts of this post :) And couldn't be more on the same page with #3 - same with hearing the heartbeat at appointments... never did I tear up with joy, I was always just relieved!

    ReplyDelete
  4. We're opposites on the car front, I'm afraid. As a rather disorderly person in many other aspects of my life, the car is my serenity space. It's manageable! I can do this!

    My cousin Sophie worked at a 4H camp this summer where one of the kids was named "La-a." No, I didn't mistype that. Guess how it's pronounced, Kate? LA-DASH-A. YOU PRONOUNCE THE DASH. Couldn't make that up if I tried.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MLA CHANGED IT'S STANDARDS?! NO DOUBLE SPACE!?! BLASPHEMY. that's kind of heart breaking and sad i care this much...

    ReplyDelete
  6. and yes i finally figured out how to post comments on a blog without it calling me "books" and getting beyond frustrated hahah xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. Um, La-a is a common name now. My friend that teaches 2nd grade in DC had two in her class last year. Thought it was an urban legend until she sent a photo of their name tags. I can't wait to hear your names. I know you'll pick great ones and you are hip enough for anything.

    ReplyDelete
  8. confession: I'm not a big fan of my twin newborn nieces' names - Payton and Blakely. Payton I don't mind so much, but I keep thinking it is spelled Peyton. And Blakely... it's going to have to grow on me. For now I just call them PBK.

    I work on a college campus reading scholarship applications. Every year I sort the database by first name to see what the popular names are from that year or what crazy names parents came up with... I'm dumbfounded by some.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am SO with you on the Name Judging, Overuse of K's in place of C's and Y's in place of E's and the like just upset me. One of my HS classmates named her son Koopyr. What's so wrong with Cooper? I see that and think of Koopa on Mario and I'm certain people will his whole life too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am loving # 8 - Do you think Kaeyleelynn Krystal enjoys a nice glass of Pinot and a crabcake during business networking events? No.

    As a former teacher, I know all too well the crazy names parents give their kids.

    There is a way to be unique without being crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hilarious! I am not planning on having any more kids yet I still check out baby name boards. Am a baby names nerd & wish I were going to have more than my 3 kids sometimes just so I could name them all.

    ReplyDelete
  12. HAAAAA to the name judging. Tori Spelling just took one on my short list. It seems these days names fall into Toddler + Tierras or Celeb-jacked. Don't you know that Reese is just broken that Ava started trending?

    ReplyDelete
  13. As far as the "not being hip enough" point, I battle that every damn day. I want to be cooler than I am. I want to be a trendy dresser. But I haven't been one before, so I feel like I couldn't just start. Not with two brothers and one brother-in-law all of whom feel the need to comment on my clothes.
    But, I think you are hip as it gets, lady. And... if you give little Quesita a super hip name, maybe she will never feel the hipster handcuffs. Give her the potential to be as cool as she wants.

    ReplyDelete
  14. DOUBLE SPACE AFTER A PERIOD UNTIL I DIE!!!!

    (I concur on La-a. Had a friend with one last year. Ew.)

    ReplyDelete
  15. My cousins have a dude in their class named Lemonjello- pronounced luh-mahn-jewel-oh if that makes sense. Parenting fail!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Currently in my car: 2 naked baby dolls covered in talc powder, 2 changing pads without covers, 5 crates of diaper rash ointment, a gallon of milk on ice, a plastic storage container filled with duct tape/box cutters/scissors/sharpies/pens/pencils/hello my name is badges, various empty plastic cups that once had Bill Miller tea in them, reciepts for parking, parking tickets (2), a change of clothes and probably 2 pairs of shoes.

    I think if I got pulled over... there would be some serious explaining to do.

    Also - love that you're a name judger, everyone should be. Then we wouldnt have so many Brynnleighs. No offense to anyone named Brynnleigh.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love your posts. Please take a moment, for me, to be all mushy-motherly when your baby moves. I went into labor recently, at 6 months pregnant, and lost my daughter. I was a lot like you with regard to that weird feeling of, "there's a human growing in me!". But, after losing her I'd give anything to feel her kick again. I know you are thrilled to be pregnant, but take a moment to feel how special it all is. And best of luck with the name--it's SO hard. I can't believe he ever settled on one.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I will always double space after a period because my graphic design schooling taught me that it makes text more readable. I will be getting my first flu shot this year. My niece comes home from St. Jude tomorrow and I'm not allowed to see her till I do. PS. There is a flu mist thingy now. Needle fear is no longer an excuse. I totally judge names. No matter what you name your child you will not be unique because everyone is trying to be "unique" by giving their kids weird names or weird spellings. My home mail has all been filed...into a basket full of "stuff". It is waiting for us to go through it and throw it away only I can't throw things away with my name on it because my dad is a shrink and we shred everything so crazy people can't get ahold of it. (Yes the horrible sentence structure is necessary there.)

    ReplyDelete
  19. My brother almost named his third child Chrystal My SIL was was looking for a very American name with a C - she's Brazilian and beautiful, besides the point. I was really glad when Charlie was born instead - as I was vocal in that Chrystal was a stripper name. Totally get it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You had to have read Freakonomics with the baby commentary. SO TRUE. The name can partially dictate your baby's future.

    Post having both Swine and regular style flu in one different calendar year (THANKS H1N1 for being all crazy in a totally different flu season), I am a proponent of flu shots. Just do it.

    Also, you should be reading Swistle's baby name blog. It's just fun. (And well, confession is that it may have steered me toward my current favorite girl name.)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I looked up my nephew on the nursery photo website when he was born. His photo was right beside a new baby named Million Dreamz.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You hit one of my ranting points! I am a teacher and a total name judger. PEOPLE - your "creative" name spellings aren't creative! They are phonetically WRONG! Do you know what message that sends to people? Some of my least favorite student names/spellings: "Nicool" instead of Nicole & "X-mas" the poor girl's name was Christmas - she asked to be called Holiday and I obliged.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am a name judger as well! I'm a pediatric nurse and I just took care of an Indiana Jones... How many interviews do we think that resume will get? I'm guessing only die-hard Harrison Ford fans!

    ReplyDelete
  24. LOL. Love it. I am the worst name judger EVER. as I've often said... What are the chances that your precious little girl Chastidy is going to be the CEO of a major company some day? JUST SAY NO.

    I babysat for a little girl named Azlyn a couple months ago. WHAT?! Adorable girl... horrific name.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh my, so true. Grade A name judger here too. We had SO many conversations about ridiculous names before our babe was born (Husband had just read Freakonomics, too).
    Just laughed, so funny. When in doubt, a family name will always do - always! No need to get creative.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sometimes I wonder how my sister and I are actually related. I have a Mia and an Eve--I know, pretty trendy these days. I can only defend myself by saying that I decided that I wanted to name a daughter Mia when I was 20, which is, um, quite a while ago (okay, 13 years, gah), and that is long before Mia became really popular. So I won't concede that I followed a name trend, but that I was ahead of my time. And Eve only coincidentally is a lot like Ava, one of the most trendy names currently. Anyway, my point is, I have one rule when it comes to names: It has to be a name that has existed for more than 20 years. Like, a pronoun referring to a person, not just a word. All of this throwing-letters-and-syllables-together-to-come-up-with-something-unique business? Or using words that aren't actually names (like the example of Million Dreamz, up above)? I'm sorry, it's just TRASHY. There, I'm the first commenter to just come right out and say it. Trashy. And my sister? Well, she gave birth to a little boy three months ago. Jaedyn. Yep that's right. Could it be any worse? I detest the name, but the crazy spelling just makes it over-the-top ridiculous. How are we related?

    Oh and I agree with you on the flu shot. But I'm not afraid to extrapolate it to encompass all other immunizations as well. Can't we just all look at the science and forget the conspiracy theories and do the responsible thing? Let's all do what we can to avoid illnesses, and we'll all be much happier.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hah, I love this! I will forever double space between sentences. My third grade teacher insisted on it, and I have it ingrained inmy brain. I think it looks really weird with just one space.
    As a teacher I can't help but judge names. Odd spellings frustrate me the most, but the sisters at my school named after uber-expensive luxury cars definitely take the cake in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  28. True Life- my name is Stacee, yep with two e's- most people compliment it, but I know they're secretly judging my name and my parents. I'll pause for you to cringe--- I was adopted when I was three, so there's no one to blame.

    It's really not so terrible though, the worst part was when I was young being devastated that the pencil, snow globe, and key chain racks never had my name. Ever. I always searched high and low.

    I still received a full-tuition scholarship to college and haven't missed any job opportunities thus far. I'm still looking for that key chain though.

    PS- This is my first comment on a blog- ever. I've been reading your blog for a little over a year and you crack me up. You make my lunch break a little brighter. Congrats on the little one!

    ReplyDelete
  29. #3 - agreed. gestation is a miracle and most of the time made me smile, but some times was just weird and slightly creepy.

    we had the hardest time picking a name and when we did find one we liked it was just to popular to pick (coming from a jennifer born in the 80s). so we picked an old fashioned one, like from the 1800s. we had to pass it by a few people to make sure we weren't crazy first. it was almost to much pressure trying to pick a name some one would be stuck with forever!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I know we just recently had the name discussion, but, I so agree! I think my parents named me and my sister well (Allison--although, I honestly should legally change it, I haven't been called that since I was 5--and Lauren), but, it stresses me out! And I'm not even pregnant! I have a list of probably 50 names I love, but, then, yes, what will happen when they grow up? Very stressful. But, I know you and E will have the perfect name for your little Quesita.

    Wow. That was a freakin' novel. Sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hahahaha the name thing is cracking me up!! I'm a name judger too!! Can't wait to hear what you decide on. We have finally picked out a name but aren't really sharing it yet for some reason. Such a big decision!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. The baby naming part is fun...or so I thought. I was one of those girls that had their baby names picked out since I was like 5 (I had my 1st baby name book in kindergarten...no joke!!!), but then everybody decided to start stealing my uber cute and original names. I had to go back to the drawing board a million times. When the time actually came, I couldn't decide on my son's name until the end of my 3rd trimester. I finally named him after a cute, older boy I had a crush on from summer camp.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I used to use two spaces after the period until I learned why it used to be done and why we don't do it any more. It's the difference between monospaced fonts (on typewriters) and proportional fonts (most word processing fonts). See here:

    http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/spaces-period-end-of-sentence.aspx

    I'm a teacher and I tell my students that they should only use one space because they will appear, ahem, ignorant if they don't. :-D

    And I'm totally with you on the pregnancy creepiness. I'm not even pregnant yet (but we're trying) and the idea of a living, wiggling thing inside me is just, idk, weird. This is not a point of view most people appreciate.

    ReplyDelete
  34. bravo to the ban on "kayleigh"-esque names. i've heard some weird ones being a teacher. i think my fav is "Gonorrea" pronounced "Ga-nor-ah". Hmm, looks strikingly familiar to a certain venereal disease.

    ReplyDelete
  35. As a fellow name judger I loved a segment that Freakonomics did on names and it's really interesting!! (I think it's play it now on Netflix!)

    I know whatever you pick will be perfect for her!

    ReplyDelete
  36. One of my mentors at work just told me to always keep a clean car, because you never know when you will have to give someone a ride or the big boss will park next to you. I have been now condemning my shame to my dressing room at home. I love a messy car though, but I love throwing clothes all over a room much more.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Yeah I'm a double spacer too... I had my suspicions that rules had been changed remaining in denial though! Hey you should check out the iPhone app Name-a-Baby; my husband developed it and its awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm a single spacer :) the only reason we double spaced was because typewriters made it necessary! I agree on the name thing 100%.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm very sorry, but I have to disagree on the flu shot thing. I have NEVER had the flu in my life until I got the flu shot. Every year I get it, I get the flu. The years I don't get the vaccine - I am flu free. I refuse to get it anymore.
    Totally with you on the name judging thing. I can NEVER find anything that says "Lucy" on it, but seven different versions of McKenzie or McKayla? No problem. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  40. We've always been English-spacing Nazis at our house. R was Articles Editor a million moons ago, and has been hardcore document drafting man ever since. I churn out at least 1,000 words a week. It's a lifestyle choice.

    And then, last week, we were passing a document back and forth for edits when he uttered the words that made me wonder if I even know who he is: "It looks like there's so much space between the sentences."

    I shall immediately pretend that never happened.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I still double space after periods, too! Glad to know I'm not alone! :)

    ReplyDelete

happy little comments!