Tuesday, December 4, 2012

relatedly...

Well, our halls are officially decked.  I was feeling a bit behind, because, according to Twitter and Instagram, an early Thanksgiving means You Better Have Your Tree Up By Cyber Monday Or Else.  Procuring a tree proved to be harder than it should, given the fact it took us four scheduled attempts to finally drag our asses 2 miles down the road and tie a Frasier fir to the top of our car.  First I got sick {mastitis...again...more below...get excited}, then E had a charity event for work he'd forgotten to calendar {so fancy}, then L was a bit under the weather + we had a visit from some law school friends {they brought cake so I forgave them their part in thwarting Tree Attempt Numero Tres}... ANYHOO, Sunday was T Day, and the tree is now up, it smells of pine, all is well and glorious and twinkling. 

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Relatedly {which I'm never sure is a real word but I use it as such on the regular, so...hmmmmm}, folks keep asking me if we are going to get a faux tree now that we've procreated.  And I keep asking them if they are consciously trying to be a Christmas buzzkill or if Scroogin' just comes naturally to them.  {Kidding.} {Ish.}  In all honestly, a Big, Continually Beautiful Fakey Tannenbaum that I could bust out whenever I fancied and didn't require daily watering or the constant swiffering of needles or annual spousal spats regarding light placement or yearly Google searches for "sap removal from denim" is rather tempting.  But, for me, Holidays = Real Tree.  When I was a kid, my dad and I used to drive out to a farm in Elgin and cut down our own tree and haul it back home in the back of his forest green 1969 1954 Chevrolet truck, and I just loved that so, so much.  While we do not have a vintage car and while the parking lot of Lowe's is not quiiiiiiite as festive as a hayride and a bag of dull handsaws, the live fir tree remains an imperative constant in my Christmas Spirit Arsenal.  As do colored twinkle lights and a hodgepodge of ornaments collected from childhood, exchanges, and travels.  This is just how we roll... forever and ever, amen. 

Decorated! Also: Wine!

L loves looking at the lights and she is somewhat intrigued by the fabric covered buttons on the tree skirt, but  I don't anticipate any monkey-action on the tree itself.  Although we did invest in this garish baby jail hexagon,"just in cases." 

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Relatedly {see? I did it again}, E agreed to watch Love Actually for the first time ever a few weekends ago and very much enjoyed it.  However, in typical man-fashion, he refuses to watch it again {and again and again} this season.  Somewhere on my list of Top Five Reasons I'd Enjoy Being a Lesbian If I Happened to Be Attracted to Women is "so my life partner would willingly watch favorite films / listen to favorite songs on a continual loop with me until we grew physically nauseated by the thought of watching / listening to even 30 more seconds of said film / song."  That would be nice. 

We don't do no theme trees, yo

Not relatedly in the slightest... {but I figured a separate post solely discussing my boobs was unnecessary}... After 9 months of breastfeeding and a recent series of events that I highly doubt you care to hear about in detail, it seems we have a quitter on our hands.  My right boob has jumped ship.  No amount of oatmeal or power pumping or fenugreek or Wilson Phillips Inspirational Power Point Presentations could convince it to finish out the season.  I know it's been a rough go at times -- two rounds of thrush, mastitis x 2, plugged ducts a-plenty -- but come on, dudette, put on your big girl nursing bra and woman the fuck up.  Suffice to say, I am not pleased, not pleased at all.  Powerhouse Leftie and I will continue rocking out, but our spirits are pretty deflated... JUST LIKE THE RIGHT SIDE OF ALL MY BLOUSES THANKS BUNCHES YOU LAZY ASSHOLE. 

27 comments:

  1. Regular reader here. I have a kiddo a month younger than your little gal and I've just been discussing this very same boob topic with some of my pals on a Mom's Facebook group I belong too (group migrated over from thebump). Anyway, we're hitting the 8-9 month slump, which may or may not be similar to what you're experiencing. Bummer is that I had to give my little cheesette formula for the first time to keep up. Ultimately I still hope to make it to a year but I think that will only happen w ith supplementing. Is that what you plan on doing (if you don't mind me being nosey) or do you have some other plan? Oh, and I have LOVED your baby gear suggestions. Thank you they've been very, very helpful!

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    1. Very few questions are "too nosy" for me :) So far, production on my left side seems to be naturally over-compensating for the lack thereof on my right, but I've done some extra pumping on the left to try and ramp up my supply. From what I've read, it is possible for one breast to supply all nutrition, so I'm hoping that's the case with us.

      Of course if it ends up that she's not getting all she needs, I would supplement! No shame in that game!

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  2. Love Actually. My all-time favourite Christmas movie! Since I don't have my tree up, that's about all I can relate to in this post ;)

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  3. Good for you, for soldiering on with one boob! When I nursed my second, I planned to go to 1 year or maybe a little longer. . .but that girl was not going to have the boobs taken away from her. Long story short, we ended up finally weaning at 23 months, and that was still totally against her will. Lots and lots of tears from both of us (really, it was heartbreaking to take something away that she loved so much. But I couldn't be one of those people nursing a child who can walk over and pull your shirt up and grab it. Just not my style). The point is, for probably the last 6 months of nursing, I did at least 75% of feeding from the left side. It just worked better. Never did totally quit the right, but there was definitely a bias toward the left. And what I realized was, it was just no big deal. For those of us who have no issues with supply, one boob is really enough, probably even from very early on. . .it just wouldn't be ideal because of the difference in cup sizes. But after nursing two babies, and having two newborns who projectile vomited because I had too much supply and couldn't ever tell when to pull them off, I realized that I could so easily have been one of those moms of twins who could nurse both babies and never need to supplement. Too bad I never had the twins to take advantage of the supply. But it seems like you're probably in that same camp. Dealing with different sized boobs for a few months might be annoying, but it'll be so worth the sense of accomplishment you'll have when you reach your goal of 1 year.

    The other thing I was thinking is, with how amazing L is with solid foods, she'll be absolutely fine with what she gets from one boob--she's such a good eater, no worries!

    And finally, you can come to our house to watch Love Actually with us. . .you know, if you were in Utah. . .but I was lucky enough to happen to get the rare husband who likes to re-watch movies just as much as I do, and we even like mostly the same movies. We've watched Love Actually dozens of times over the years!

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  4. I have yet to comment here, but I must say I love your blog and your candor! I shared the post about the baby monitor's and glowing eyeballs, we got a good laugh that day! Your writing has been a source of great comfort, especially since I have a son about one month older than L. I, too, am a first time Mama, and since birth, my son never latched correctly. (Side note: I went 'hard core' as my husband says, and had my son at home with just a midwife present, all that to say, a lot of my motherhood has been trial and error!). Anywho, I have pumped everyday since my son's birth. Ten whole freakin' months.....and I hit the nine month marker and my body decided to stage a revolt and dropped about half of my milk supply. I still pump like crazy, just now we found the best alternative for formula to give our son a little smackeral in the afternoon. He was a voracious eater though, and chewed through 60 oz a day, so by all means I really should have a stockpile. But this kiddo has quite literally sucked the fat from my body....

    Your kiddo is absolutely adorable, and please continue to share the laughs. You have made me smile on days I would have rather forgotten. Thank you!

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    1. *shared the post with my husband

      (Sorry, I worked this morning, darn sleep deprivation!)

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  5. OH MAN. I am so sorry about the mastitis again and the underperforming boob. When Henry was wee and we went to Mom's Group, the facilitator told me that some women just shut one side down ON PURPOSE and nurse their babies like that. All I could think about was the ill-fitting bras. (Hi, I'm shallow.)

    AND. I cannot willnot get a faux tree just because I have a child now. I stand firmly in the (vegan, free-range) real tree camp.

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  6. Oh.My.Gosh! Hahahaha! I follow your blog and rarely comment but this post had me cracking up from start to finish! I wish I was your friend in real life (or even knew you) because you are hilarious! Thanks for a great start to this chilly hump day in the Midwest :)

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  7. I totally snorted out of my nose when I read this post last night. I too am a loop-sided breastfeeder. My left one never really liked to produce as much with both of my kids. They just liked the right because it let down well and the left was the underachiever. I pumped my left like crazy to the point it was making me so tired. My nurse told me that you can nurse with just one and so that is what I did for almost 3 months. Just keep feeding L and remember she clears it faster than any pump can!

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  8. The Christmas tree farm is never to be forgotten fun of the most festive kind.....now for a couple of minor detail modifications.....1954 Chevy forest green pickup and accompanied by the sweetest pound dog ever. Sppleeeecchhhh

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    1. Oh man, I WAY off. Love you, spleeeeeeeech!

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  9. Wait, why would you get a fake tree because of the baby? Of course, I am in your previously mentioned group of people who can't have trees due to the pulling up. I don't think a fake tree would help though- she would just pull that on top of her too. Oh well.

    That is so weird about the lazy boob. What does your ped's lactation consultant say? One of mine turned purple and refused to be pumped. It was gross and weird, but I think I injured it with too high of suction. Anyway, your tree and babe look beautiful!

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    1. I guess people are concerned she'll eat the needles??? Which, I mean, as vigilant as I try to be about keeping my floors clean (ha ha ha), I am sure she will accidentally ingest a needle or two, but they aren't poisonous and they are tiny so it's not like she's going to choke.

      I also think people who love their fake trees sometimes think real ones are a lot of effort... so maybe they think it just makes more sense to have a fake tree when my hands are otherwise full with a semi-mobile baby?

      Honestly, I don't really get the thought process either :)

      LC said that it happens and that hopefully I shouldn't have supply issues with just one boob in the mix. Basically, I got a really bad milk blister that wouldn't pop and the milk built up behind it and clogged and no amount of massage or pumping was helping much to break it up. By the time it healed, it had just dried up. Yuck.

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  10. Umm I want to hear about your boobs in detail. Now that I actually have a baby and am breastfeeding, I find it so fascinating. In a non-creepy way. Promise.

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    1. My response to Samma above goes into more Boobage Detail :)

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  11. 1-The primary colored baby jail? LIFESAVER. Ours is currently protecting our (real, thank-you-very-much) 8 foot tall Frasier fir from the inquistive hands of a 16 month old. Not so great news? He can reach over the top, so there is an ornament free zone within his reach.

    2-Oof for the boob issues. I've been lucky that the only issues I've had in 16 months of breastfeeding are several plugged ducts. Oh, and nursing bra disintegration. Who knew that nursing bras aren't meant to withstand YEARS of breastfeeding? Weird.

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  12. I got a lazy boob right around 10 months, but the productive one totally made up for it. Aside from the awkward lopsided look (which Nick swears was not nearly as noticeable as I believed), it was never an issue. Sam got all the nutrition he needed -- from me and from solids.

    Also, I am totally with you on the real tree. Ours is currently standing proud in our living room, and Sam has (mostly) ignored it. Now Lucy on the other hand ... :)

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  13. Love watching movies/TV shows on repeat. When we finished Lost I was all LET'S START AGAIN AND THEN AGAIN until eternity. I am not obviously watching it by myself. Not as fun.

    Love your tree, BTW! You have quite a collection of ornaments!

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  14. I'm with Samma in that I'm very confused as to why baby = fake tree. I guess she might be allergic? But, if they're worried about eating it, they eat everything! It's not like she'd say, "oh, that one's plastic, I better not chew on that." Right?

    I guess we're late to the game as well since we STILL don't have our tree. Whatevs...

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  15. While I apologize for getting pleasure from your pain...the boob quandary, and more specifically your description of it, made me laugh out loud in the law library. Much appreciated giggles! Happy Holidays!

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  16. Oh man, my 'low producer' crapped out on me too, with baby number one. I'm just waiting for leftie to pull that stunt again---but if it's any consolation, I was able to finish off BFing until a year with just one good side.

    Also, cannot believe she is NINE MONTH OLD.

    And mastitis sucks a big one.

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  17. I think the real tree/fake tree argument is just like any other parenting decision. Fake tree owners (ME) feel guilty for depriving our children of the experience of picking a tree and smelling it every time you walk into the house, so we get defensive.

    My dad always says that when my mom leaves him he's going to get remarried and have a fake tree. My mom tells him that he's free to remarry, but he can never have a fake tree.

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    1. Your dad sounds like Evan - He makes an argument for the fake tree every year (again, really so very tempting) and then goes all OCD on my ass about the logistics of watering the inevitable real one as it sits on our hardwood floors.

      Christmas just isn't Christmas without parents squabbling over some aspect of the damn tree.

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  18. I am totally on board with your thoughts and feelings about Christmas trees. I think we are the only house within a 3 block radius with a real tree. I am so obsessed with the smell that I bought a bunch of the leftover branches (I think I was an idiot to actually pay for them...) from the tree guy and now have 4 vases full of needle-dropping throughout the house.
    Those hex-jail things are ugly, but super useful. I used mine in summer to safely contain the peanut while I did a little yard work, and it has given my dog a safe place to relax as well (its probably too big for Boom). My concession to make the tree toddler-safe is plastic ornaments for the bottom 3' and the tree is in the office attached to our living room (baby gate + french door).
    Kudos to you for hanging in with the breastfeeding. I gave up at 13 months after a month of being chewed on, nonstop. L probably gets most of her nutrition from solids now, right? Maybe that remaining boob won't have to work so hard for so long?

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  19. I have an underachiever as well - glad I'm not alone! I'm so sorry your right side gave out, but I hear one side can make it quite a while. I've been going strong for a few months with the left side performing much better.

    Great tree! We're in the real camp too and luckily our 7.5 month old hardly notices it!

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  20. In reading through comments, it seems as though everyone's left boobs work better than the right! It's the same for me as well. I have a 5 month old baby girl and while she strongly prefers the left side, I think I prefer her to nurse on that side even more! Ha! Being right handed, it's so much easier for me to multitask while nursing when she's on the left! So she nurses MAYBE once a day on the right side (for a very short time) and then I pump both sides 3-4 times a day... the left is a serious overachiever and somehow, I'm not really lopsided, thank goodness!!!! So glad to know I'm not the only one with this "problem"... even though it hasn't been a real problem for me... just seems a little strange! But my lactation consultant told me that my entire breastfeeding career can be on one side if I wanted...just not ready to let my right side dry up just yet, although it sounds like it might do so at some point against my will! Thanks for your candor and sharing!! It makes the rest of us feel normal. :) And good luck with everything!

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  21. I love your blog. it's so honest! I'm going on 6 months in a week and I have yet to have any issues with bf (knock on wood).. but I would love to get some info on how you handled all your issues with your defiant boob.. it's like my biggest fear!

    good luck!

    http://scaifebabywatch.blogspot.com/

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happy little comments!