Saturday, November 29, 2008

welcome to miami

first, i apologize for the lack of blog updates... Evs' grandma thinks "the internets" are the "work of the devil" (which should give you a little preview of where i've spent the last 4 days) and i haven't quite gotten the hang of the iphone update... anyhoo, that leaves me with loads to share, but forgive me if i skip out on the "what i'm thankful for" part... i'm holiday-ed out for this month!

sadly, dear readers, i have not been trapped in the sunshine-y playground memorialized by will smith circa 1997. no, 'my miami' would be Miami ("my-am-uh"), Oklahoma... i think its pretty clear to those who know me and/or read this blog that i fall pretty solidly into the "city mouse" category. and i'm sure you can guess that Miami is no booming metropolis. however, just to paint a clearer picture in your mind, if you were to visit Miami, OK you would be...
  • 91.7 miles from the nearest Starbucks

  • an hours drive from the nearest "mall" (=TJ Maxx) which also happens to be in another state (MO)

  • surrounded by mushroom farms/factories (imagine a rotting fish rolled in dog shit... that's what the entire town smells like... thus permiating your clothes/luggage/car/dog with this scent)

  • spittin' distance away from several gas stations dubbed the "Kum-&-Go" (if you fill up there, you can say you "Kame & Went"...hehehe, dirty)
there's also some family drama going on in Miami, but luckily our Thanksgiving was filled with family members and friends my grandmother would describe as "salt of the earth" so we had a nice time catching up, feasting, and hunkering around the satellite dish to catch all the big games (horns over aggies / deacons over vandy, yes ma'am!).

there were however, a few snafus.

first, it took us a good 8 hours to reach our holiday destination, thanks to lovely I-35 traffic. not cool.

second... my pie, my beautiful pie... i'd carefully packed all my applie pie fixins', hauled them clear up to OK, and then woke up early thursday morning to create my dessert masterpiece. it was perfect, if i do say so myself - i even tried adding a little mexican vanilla extract from william-sonoma and you could smell it when i took it out of the oven - delish! and then i went to put it back in the oven for 5 more minutes and BAM... burned the shit out of my finger / dropped. my. pie. splattered all over the oven door. total destruction. Evs' sweet mom helped mop it back into the pie pan while i sat and cried in the kitchen. not a few tears, mind you - bawled. just like when a 2 year old falls down... pauses... and then lets it rip - red faced, snotty, hiccup-y crying. not sure if it was the PMS, or missing my own family, or just the fact that i really wanted that damn pie for dessert - but whatever it was, i was f*ing pissed. and my freakin' finger hurt like hell.

sad, dirty pie remains.

my gnarly blister burn... 2 days later.

so that sucked.

then on the way home today, poor little Boom diarrhea-ed all over the back seat of my car. i'm talking projectile action. all over herself, her crate, the seats, my new j. crew coat, etc. thank goodness for Walmart - we were able to get all we needed to clean her and the car up, but ug. nasty. another instance in which i questioned my ability to daily deal with baby diapers.

there were some high-points, though, even in the land of teeny-tiny guest beds and lowest ever thread-count sheets. i got to meet Evs' great uncle Spike who just recently had a stroke but told me the most amazing stories of playing college basketball and the fishing column he's written for the newspaper for over 25 years. my squash casserole went over swimmingly - Evs had thirds which i considered a moral victory since the casserole contains cheese. we spent two relaxing evenings at the home of some dear family friends, looking at old pictures, laughing at the pups wrestling, and watching hours of football. we discovered a new route home - along the famous Route 66 - stunning lakes, trees and sunset - much better than I-35 and the OK Turnpike.

Evs' dad plays Dog Whisperer with Teddy & the Boom

get your kicks... Route 66!

and then there was the best. oklahoman. discovery. ever. WINERY. yes, a winery in OK. shocking, i know - i wouldn't have believed it myself if i hadn't seen it with my own eyes! of course if there is a winery within 100 miles, we'll find it... we're a regular pair of vino bloodhounds. Evs and i dropped in on a whim after spying the billboard on our way outta dodge (pre-poop-incident). wasn't expecting much, but the wine + our little lunch were pretty scrumptious. we ended up purchasing 4 bottles (2 muscat, 1 razzmatazz raspberry wine, and 1 sangria). and, while i'm not a big dessert wine fan, their cream sherry has apparently won state and national awards (including 2 from uncorked). apparently there are 3 other wineries nearby... you can bet what i'm suggesting instead of Black Friday Shopping in Joplin, MO for next year's friday activity! anyhoo, if you're ever near Vinita, Ok - stop by summerside vineyards for excellent "lady lunch food" and wine!

so now we're home, where wireless internet doesn't condemn us to hell... sipping on some of our OK wine, noshing on Macaroni Grill take-out and watching OU/OSU... tomorrow i shall visit Central Market, Target, NorthPark, and work on Febreze-ing eau de mushroom out of my belongings... ahhhhhh home. nothin' like it.

happy belated turkey day!


  1. ...bless yer heart!

    I know you had to have been miserable! Welcome back to the current century!!

  2. My grandmother won't use the internet too (she's 102). Her reason is a bit different. When she worked, she was one of the main Social Workers for the City of San Francisco. Since she was an administrator, she had a secretary, who did all her typing and correspondence. And because you need to type to use the web, she won't do it, and thinks that typing on a keyboard is beneath her.

  3. My mom and step-dad are currently visiting Grove, OK (step-dad has family in the area) and while on the phone this morning I learned about Miami. I'd never heard of it before and now eight hours later I read about it - how crazy is that?!

    So sorry you had such a traumatic trip but glad you made it home in one piece, and with a new wine find no less. My heart went out to you while reading about your pie experience and can assure you I would have had the exact same reaction. What a bummer that you couldn't enjoy it (mexican vanilla is my favorite!) Hopefully your finger is feeling better and you're enjoying being back in civilization!

  4. This is too crazy! I was born in Miami aka Miam-uh. Both sets of my grandparents live in Afton. You passed it on I-44 right in between Vinita and Miami. I wasn't there this year for Thanksgiving because we were at the husbands grandparents out in western OK. But I still think that is crazy that you were in my neck of the woods. And I have to agree--there is nothing exciting out there. I am going to have to check out those wineries. I always see the signs for them.

  5. Bless your heart! Poor little pup! I would have died if I had to see that! oh my


happy little comments!