Sunday, December 21, 2008

stupid stupid girl

(warning: Twilight books spoiler ahead!)


uggg sigh. i hate to be a traitor to my inner-tween, but i'm halfway through the 4th book in the Twilight series - Breaking Dawn - and i just want to punch freakin' Bella in the ovaries.

i am so sick of her "waah waah waah two mythical, hot-ass, creatures of the night are in love with me and its sooo difficult."

and her "waah waah waah Edward's body is like a carved pillar of milky marble and i'm so homely."

not to mention her "waah waah waaah i got preggers with a succubus that is eating my body from the inside out but i loooooove it."

get a grip girl. i just wanna smack her!

also, has anyone else noticed that Stephanie Meyers is a total sell-out to the "true love waits / uh uh my daughter ain't doing the nasty / PTA mom" mindset? i have nothing against PTA mommies or those who choose the chastity before marriage path (quite commendable), and yes, i do understand these are "young adult" novels, but i think we're over-doing it a bit much. lets take a look at the evidence:
  • girl meets boy. boy and girl fall in love and totally want to bump uglies. but boy is a vampire and will likely kill girl if she gets too close to him. (lesson: if you get naked with a boy, he will break your heart and kill your moral-self)
  • girl and boy contain themselves and just do a little smooching for like... oh... 1897 pages. (lesson: um, don't have the sex, even after you've each pledged your ever-lasting love to each other)
  • virginal boy and virginal girl get married... at the tender age of 18 (well, he's like 250, but you know what i mean). girl and boy have sex. girl gets pregnant with an unknown monster-baby that is literally eating her from the inside out. (lesson: even if you're married, you're still a horny teenager and will be punished for your hormones)
maybe its the sociology major in me reading waaaaaay too much into this, but come on - can you hit us over the head with it any more?

this is why i should stick with True Love on HBO...

6 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAH


    oh girl, you read my mind....i feel like such a traitor because I thought those same things through ALL of the books!!!! Seriously, I wanted to kill Bella and her, "if you leave me edward I will just DIE because I am so in love with you and can't live without you..."

    seriously, get a grip and grow up and be independent!!!

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  2. for REAL! i think there needs to be a kate's cliffnotes to the twilight series. it can contain all of your wonderful insight!

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  3. Bella makes me want to pull my hair out too. I think the author stuck with the whole true love waits BS because she is from a Mormon background - would have been quite the scandal if she wrote bodice ripping material for tweens.

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  4. The author went to byu, if that explains anything.

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  5. Well, I think the author is mormon so that is where all of this stems from. (not that there is anything wrong with being mormon.) Keep reading, it does get a little better...

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  6. I love love love Tru Blood on HBO! Have you read the books, soooooo good!!

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