Tuesday, April 14, 2009

for what its worth...

so here it is. the mother-load post. you know, the one where i impart my infinite wedding wisdom upon the interwebs (stop laughing... no, really, stop it).

as a reward for listening to me wax poetically about "do's and don'ts" you've probably heard before (from more legit sources, no less), you shall have the professional wedding teasers, courtesy of Stacy Sodolak - SMS Photography (who i'm sure is uber-glad to have pacified me with these shots, as i bugged her nonstop all last week - love you Stacy!).

K's Do's & Don'ts of Wedding Perfection(ish)

(1) if you're early in the planning stages... decide want you want before interviewing vendors. yep, this sounds obvious, but i was one of those chicas that was so excited to begin planning that i jumped right in with both feet without considering exactly what sort of look and feel i (ummm "we"? well, whatevs) really wanted. those early vendor interviews and visits were by far the most frustrating of the entire process. so do an impromptu guest-count, clip your magazine photos, make some lists - whatever it takes to get at least a vague idea of your ideal celebration - before you start trying to cross off big-ticket-decision-items... trust me: it will save you lots of tears / bottles of wine / pathetic, sissy "but i just want it to be perfeeeeeect" whines.

(2) and while you're at it... do what you want! i tried to post about this a while back, and Mags just recently said it ever-so-much-more-eloquently than i... but plan the wedding that you and your fiance want - not what a magazine, or your mother, or a blogger, or your friends want. so time to cowboy-up, girlie, and make your celebration your own.

(3) surround yourself with good people. it doesn't matter if your florist was featured in Martha Stewart Weddings / the Knot / Modern Bride / Whatever... if she's a total bitch or a space-cadet who sucks at returning emails or doesn't take your ideas seriously, then the planning process is going to be a whole lot more stressful than necessary. hire people who you click with - who get you and your "vision"... as totally lame as i felt, i knew immediately who my vendors were if their eyes lit up when i said "Midnight Garden Party Hosted by Anthropologie" (hush your face, i'm not good at verbalizing "themes," alright?). it may sound cheeseball, but planning a wedding with people who i legitimatly enjoyed as human beings made the process all that much joyous and fun.

(4) play nice - it pays off. and i'm not just talking about the Karma Department (although your family, friends and fiance - or, the F Trifecta - will be infinitely grateful if you keep the Bridezilla Moments to a minimum) - being a non-diva can literally pay off bigtime. 2 weeks before the wedding, we got the call that we were thousands of dollars under our anticipated budget. yep: you heard me correctly - a couple of rent payments to spare! why, you ask? first-off because our wedding coordinator Gina is a total badass, but also because we got a shit-ton of bees with honey! apparently wedding vendors don't often encounter super-pleasant people (which, dude, sucks - you're getting married - freakin' smile!) - so communicating your wants and needs without being a total Mariah Carey about the whole ordeal will take you far. this is not to say i was a total peach for 15 mo., but professionalism and personality will make it easy for vendors to throw in a little something extra!

(5) here's a thought: look like you! so i have sausage arms. i (very sadly) will never be Michelle Obama. even during the thinnest phases in my life, my arms remain thick-ish comparatively. this is just a fact of my existence. of course, wanting to look my best on our wedding day, i hired a trainer, cut (a few) carbs, and amped up the cardio. and i felt beautiful and fit on March 28... but, yep, there they are, in some of our pictures: the sausage arms. sure, i could have denied myself every sweet, every ounce of pasta, every glass of wine in the months leading up to the wedding, but (a) i would have been a total bitch-beast, and (b) Waif K is not me. looking back at our wedding photos 20 years from now, i'd rather see myself - sausage arms and all - than some uber-skinny girl i don't recognize. the same goes for your makeup, hair, and dress - choose a look that makes you feel gorgeous as you - not what you think a "bride" should look like. plus, you have to give your photog something to PhotoShop!

(6) if this is up your alley, take pictures before! hands-down, best wedding decision we made! it made the waiting around before the ceremony go so much faster, it put both of us at ease for the ceremony, it was fun (!), and we had much more time to hang out with our guests. people were very divided on this topic but i have absolutely no regrets - the moments we shared during our "first glimpse" were priceless (ie: the first coherent words out of Evs' mouth were "do you like my tie?" ummmmm, yes honey, i was with you when you bought it... do you like, oh, i don't know... my wedding dress???) and i just know i would have been anxious and fidgety during family pictures had they occurred during cocktail hour. probably not a decision that is right for everyone but it worked swimmingly for us!

(7) this one's a "duh" but... don't sweat the small stuff. things will go wrong on your super-special-princess-day. several things went astray on our day. if you pull on your big girl panties and roll with the punches, the day's going to be a lot more enjoyable and you'll laugh about the snafus much sooner than if you pout. case in point: my veil snagged on my way down the aisle with my dad - literally snapping my head back in a very big, very ungraceful, very un-bride-like way - i'm 112% positive that i looked like a retarded string puppet. so yeah, embarrassing, and yeah, typical... but one massive fist-pump and a very loud "i'm okay!" later, dad and i were rolling back on down the aisle. turns out... this was actually one of my favorite moments of the day - it cut the emotional tension and made everyone laugh - and i am nothing if not the class clown. so rock on with your bad imperfect self - it feels good!

(8) don't worry - you're still you! sounds weird but the dweepy sociology freak / quasi-feminist in me was worried about how being a wife would make me feel... would it be different? would it be weird? would i immediately have an urge to prance around the house in a frilly apron with a feather duster, martini ready and waiting for my man to come home? fear not, friends! although i have recently dabbled in pot roast, it turns out that i am the same sarcastic, crabby-in-the-morning, neat-freak, addicted-to-crap-tv, stubborn-ass girl that i was 3 weeks ago! and Evs is still the same know-it-all, crotchety, goes-to-bed-at-9-PM-on-Sundays, moody-when-hungry, infuriatingly-rational man he was 3 weeks ago! score!

there you have it... my spiel. for what its worth.

okay, soapbox away. thank you for letting me Play Bride for one more moment! cookies for all of you!




































































34 comments:

  1. First off, how much do I love your blog? You make me laugh out loud everytime! Also, great advice! Last, fantastic pictures! Your facial expressions are too much!

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  2. I absolutely love your (preview) wedding pictures!

    You look amazing!

    Congrats again!!!!

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  3. What fun pictures! And good advice. :)

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  4. this post makes me very, very, very proud of you. not that i wasn't already, but it just reinforces it. you were a rockstar bride who demonstrated grace, beauty, kindness, and well-grounded perspective at every turn. i love you so dearly and it was a fantastic weekend full of love, laughter, and the people that matter most in the world. thank you to you and ev for bringing it all together like that. i know that i will strive to emulate you and your attitude throughout the entire process when the time comes for me one day. i love you, my muppet friend ;-)

    p.s. you didn't look ridiculous when your veil snapped you back, you looked amazing still. and it was such a perfect moment, because like you said it got us all laughing rather than bawling, which was what we were all starting to do when you came down that aisle with t-man.

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  5. p.p.s. the picture of me grabbing D's tie on the floor, my mother's response..."L...Mr. D is a neat and tidy person, I don't think he appreciated you grabbing his tie like that." I have to admit it, the woman's right. His face looks a little distressed/perplexed. And your facial expressions in all the pics? Amazing. i particularly like the one of the best man speech with your face and evan kissing you. wonder which line that one was taking during.

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  6. All good advice, #3 & #6 in particular.

    And thank you for indulging us all with more glorious wedding pictures.

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  7. YayyayYAY! Pretty pictures!!!! I just love what Stacy captured. And all your wise words too, of course... Mostly I love how YOU your wedding was, and how much we all loved it because of that.

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  8. Your pictures are gorgeous!!!!! You were a stunning bride!!! :)

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  9. I love reading your bloggy. It helps to put things in perspective...especially since I had a slight mini freakout yesterday that the wedding is 179 days away...

    Your pictures are amazing and you are such a beautiful person. =)

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  10. the pictures are BEAUTIFUL! you've got some great photos to have around forever! no matter what you paid for it, it's priceless. the best thing you can possibly take away from the day! :)

    i love everything you said. i especially love that you should look like you. i couldn't agree more!

    i'm also a big advocate for taking pictures before and feel like it completely made my wedding day wonderful. i'm glad it did the same thing for you! :)

    thanks for sharing so much of your wisdom and your special day with us!

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  11. Your pictures are absolutely beautiful - right out of a magazine!

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  12. The photos are absolutely beautiful! I love the colours and the atmosphere the photographer captured so well - classy, put-together, fun... a perfect day!

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  13. Gorgeous pictures and wonderful advice! And for the record, you do not have sausage arms. Not even close.

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  14. i've said it before and i'll say it again - damn that stacy takes a-maz-ing pics! you look gorgeous!

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  15. Great advice and great pics!

    I'm glad to hear that you did your pictures before and are happy about that. We've been debating it (well, he doesn't care) and I think we're leaning that way.

    But then did you join everyone for cocktail hour or wait until they were seated and you were announced? Our coordinator is telling us we're supposed to wait, but I want to join everyone for cocktails and the sunset...

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  16. I saw your pics a bit ago on Stacy's blog... everything was SO amazing. After each picture my mouth was gaping open! Your flowers are gorg, your dress is beautiful, I love your Mom's dress redone- how did you do that!?, wonderful touches in your decor, and I could go on and on. So beautiful Kate!

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  17. you may just be my favorite person ever!

    i wish you and BEB had been around when I was planning my wedding...sigh

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  18. Love the honesty... and the great pics!!

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  19. I love your pics!! You look amazing and I love all of your expressions! So funny!

    BTW, your C Lous are gorgeous! Sooo jealous!!

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  20. You made some wonderful points...and I hope the future brides listen to them :)

    Your wedding was so incredibly gorgeous I can hardly stand it! I'm so glad you had nice weather...it was simply breathtaking! Also...it looks like everyone had a blast!

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  21. AMAZING advice. I will take all of it to heart.
    Your pictures are unbelievable -- you have that great "new bride glow," your guests look like they all had the times of their lives, and the decor was just beautiful. Your photographer did a great job capturing the fun!

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  22. Oh PS - the "F-trifecta" made me laugh out loud!

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  23. Kate, I love you and will have a party with you at Anthropolgie any time of the day or night. Thanks again for picking ME!!!!! xoxo

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  24. I loved all those tips! Is that your dad wearing chucks?! that is awesome.

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  25. Thanks for your tips! I needed them! =]

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  26. AHHH!! All sorts of gorgeousness. Stunning pictures. I love them. I want to marry your wedding. Is that possible?

    Loved your dos and don't!

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  27. What gorgeous photos! I just recently stumbled across your blog but I have to say cheers to you for being such a unique and strong woman!

    I love the colors...and I think the atmosphere in the picture with the white lights and colored paper lanterns is to die for! Best wishes to you and congratulations to your new husband!

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  28. kate, this is a great post. thanks for saying such awesome, insightful, and honest things. also, you are absolutely gorgeous and have no inkling of sausage to your arms. your wedding was simply stunning, you were simply stunning, and your pictures are stunning. congrats again!

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  29. what an awesome post!! i'm agreeing with Mojito Maven.. where were you and BEB when I was planning my wedding?!?! i agree with basically everything you said hands down... you pulled off an absolutely gorgeous wedding. and one other thing.. where was your photog when i was getting married?!?!?

    love the pictures... you seriously were a beautiful bride and you looked like you had the best day ever!

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  30. sooo i already started whoring out your post but realized i didn't tell you- fantastic words! your wedding is an inspiration for weddings and you're a bride that's an inspiration to the rest of us brides. thanks for everything!

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  31. CONGRATULATIONS! Your wedding was so divine, and you look so gorgeous and happy. It was such a beautiful day in Austin, and Laguna Gloria is a perfect venue. Thanks so much for sharing with us! Again, I feel like a stalker since I don't even know you, but these images brought a tear to my eye!

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happy little comments!