Tuesday, February 2, 2010

tales from the breadline*

Or: How to Take an Employment Application Photo like a Badass. 

You're smart!  You're capable!  You're polished!  Like Zoolander before you, you are Ridiculously Good Looking!  Bonus Points for showering today and using the blow-dryer!  And is that mascara I spy?  And lip-liner?  And Official Lady Lawyer Jewelry?  You are on a roll!  


Okay, so... your bathroom mirror is filthy and you seem to take self-portraits bearing the expression of a wide-mouth bass... 

Minor details, really, especially when you consider that your portrait-taking ensemble clearly exhibits your time-saving efficiency and ability to conserve valuable resources... You practically scream "I'll get the job done right, in a manner that is most productive for you, my employer, and most economical for you, my client."


Kudos!  You put the "pro" in "professional!"


Now let's just pray that the man in the Hermes necktie giving you the stank-eye whilst purchasing Aquafina last night at CVS doesn't end up on the other side of the interview table from your badass self in the future. 


*Sorrs, ATL, 'bout adversely possessing your IP.  Please don't sue!  Thanks! 

13 comments:

  1. I am a little disturbed that you have to submit a photo, but I love the news anchor look. It's like a mullet of clothing choices. As I sit here with my tights ichign me, and me waistband riding at an uncomfortable angle, I am supremely jealous.

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  2. haha! I love that you only put on the top. Perhaps if I sat behind my desk all day long and didn't get up once I could pull that off.

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  3. I love it... and I love it even more that you shared it with us! hahaha

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  4. I actually just laughed out loud when I scrolled down and saw you were wearing jammie pants and uggs!

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  5. Wait, you have to submit a photo with job application?! Seriously?

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  6. Haha, nice outfit! I'm also weirded out that you have to submit a photo, over here, it's standard, but I didn't realize they did it in the US.

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  7. I can not believe that you have to submit a photo!

    Mr. D tells me that the job market is far worse than it was in July, and even worse than it was when he started his hunt last January.

    So far, he has been asked for his SAT scores -Um, those were taken in 1991! when he was a teenager- but no inquiries for headshots... yet.

    Aaack!
    ABCD

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  8. Isn't a photo on an application illegal?

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  9. Sarah - Nope! Not to my knowledge! I had several interviews in law school where my photo was taken.

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  10. Too funny! Good luck in the job search process!

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  11. You're too cute to be a lawyer! Knowing my luck I'd run into someone I know (I actually ran into the judge I externed for with my ugly glasses and no makeup on once - eek!) Cute picture but I find the photo requirement to be odd. Is this for a legal job?

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  12. I kind of can't believe you have to put a picture on your ap. But it cracks me up that you only put on the top.

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happy little comments!